My Thoughts on Relationships -- for what it's worth

Last week, my daughter asked me for advice concerning relationships. She had begun to feel issues in hers and I think she wanted to be assured that her feelings were acceptable, fair, reasonable, and practical. Her particular question dealt with trust and loyalty. So I gave her my advice and yes, I prefaced it with “You know I’m not very successful in this particular subject…but I can offer you my own feelings about the situation.” Sorry; I’m not going to post her questions or the advice I gave her.

But the whole conversation did get me thinking about her questions. So I thought about my own past and present experiences and relationships -- Friendships… Intimate Relationships… Associations… Acquaintances..... Family, etc.

And that is the beginning of my post to her.....
My thoughts on Relationship---for what it’s worth.

First of all, we can lookup definitions of different types of Relationships – then step back ---and evaluate whether you’re in the type/category you want to be. For instance, let’s take the definition of Acquaintance: Knowledge of a person acquired by a relationship less intimate than friendship. An Acquaintance is a person with whom one knows. Well, this definition probably wasn’t applicable to my daughter’s questions. So we'll move on.

So maybe an Association: the state of being associated; companionship; fellowship; the act of affiliation. So if you don’t necessarily need the friendship or partnership but you’re definitely in a physically intimate relationship, then you might be in exactly the category you want to be in. Another example could be a roommate who’s an Association simply to share expenses. Or maybe your Association is a convenience and a temporary arrangement....."then my dear, you simply have an Association."

But if you're looking for someone to share your life with, I would think you're looking for a Partner relationship. So let's Google “Partner” and view the Wikipedia definition, two keywords seem to define Partner

-Friend
-Intimate Relationship

So if we Google Intimate Relationship, we see the keywords…. love, romantic, belongingness, marriage, attachment, friendship, trust, physical intimacy; emotional intimacy, confidants (a close associate to whom secrets are confided or with whom private matters and problems are discussed).

In an Intimate Relationship, the feeling is a degree of comfort, effectiveness and mutual experience of closeness which might indicate emotional intimacy between individuals. Intimacy might involve disclosing thoughts, feelings, and emotions in order to reach an understanding or offer mutual support.



And if we Goggle Friendship, what do we find? Friendship is HUGE! So I'll let you look up the definition. But I'll post some of the keywords we see -- honesty, affection, understanding, trust, loyalty…..and much of the same verbage for the definition of Intimate Relationship minus the “Intimacies”. But wait! Look at the definition of Partner, again. If you have a Friendship and an Intimate Relationship, you would be in a Partnership. If you don't, you better review the other Relationships again 'cause you might not have the makings of a lifetime category.

We all know how a brother, sister, father, mother are categorized – Family. Most Intimate Relationships (I hope) aren’t amongst family members but a Partner in your Intimate Relationship will/or should probably know about your children, siblings, parents, friendships, relationships, etc. Isn’t that the way it is in most Intimate Relationships? But what do I know?

In any Relationships, either party can say they love you but you have to evaluate (with your mind and not your heart) to what degree that love exists. Are both of you involved in the same way?

So darling daughter, what category do you fall in? And are all of the characteristics you NEED and WANT in that category? Will that category satisfy you for a lifetime? You get to decide what is important to you and yours. It may be right for you or it may be wrong. But I can guarantee you, you’ll definitely learn from it.