Meet my new best friend....Kindle

Thank You Mommie for introducing and giving me Kindle. She'll be my companion until she's old and worn out. But I promise to take very good care of her so that she may have a long life with me.

On the real, though, I absolutely feel very techie with my new friend. I downloaded my first FREE book. And I'm half done reading Millie's Fling. Cute story. This little gadget could save me a lot of money (FREE FREE FREE books; download books in second--save on gas; downloads are less expensive than hard/paper backs) and it will provide me conveniences (no more losing my place when the bookmark falls out; easily placed on my treadmill platform; easy to do my hair and not have to place a heavy object on my book to keep it open; thin & lightweight mobility). I'm going to love this!!!! I can't wait until Tayshaun starts reading. I'm getting him one for sure.

It's funny because while shopping for Christmas, I ran across some really cute covers for e-Readers, Nooks, and Kindles at Bed Bath & Beyond. And of course, these cute cases caught my eye and took me away from my shopping list. They almost made me break my promise to myself to NOT buy any Christmas for myself this year. And what would I do with a cute Kindle cover when I didn't even have an e-Reader, Kindle, or I-Pad. Oh Tartar Sauce, I really wanted a reading gadget and didn't even know it yet.

But, seriously, I gave it that one thought and just until I got out of Bed Bath and Beyond. And then Wa La! My mom read my mind. And knew just what I wanted before I did. And there I was accessorizing my gadget before I even put it on my Wish List.

I love you Mom!!!!!

So here's the accessorizes I bought Kindle. I don't usually go for florals but this cream flower reminded me of the lotus I have on my arm.

I'm still deciding on her Skin. I've narrowed it down to these two choices. I hope Kindle will be very happy in her new outfits.

2010 Lazy Christmas Day

This was the first year that Tayshaun was up before the girls got to the house on Christmas morning. So I didn't keep him from checking if Santa left any cookie crumbs....oh yea, and a DS. WooHoo! Score! Santa left Tayshaun a DS and a card. Santa explained to Tayshaun that he had to give it a lot of thought this year whether to leave him a lump of coal or the presents he requested. He asked Tayshaun to mind his mother this year because "I've got my EYE on You Mister!"

Well, right off the bat, the flying toys got stuck in my morning hair -didn't do.

Tisha and JazLynn made breakfast after we opened presents. Mom made a great turkey for later in the afternoon.

We boxed all day and laid around for the remainder of the day. Even Lisa and her family stayed in their jammies for the day. We didn't our gifts delivered to them until the following Monday.

Look at Mollie and Lola. Then did as their Masters do...chill!

We fought for the remote control, drank Mimosa and Mogen David (and thought of grandma Fina), and ate, ate, ate. Can't wait for a lazy, next week too.

2010 Zoo Lights

I've lived here forever and never been to the Zoo Lights.

For the past two years, I've had every intention to take Tayshaun but it's been just tooooo cold to give it a try. But this year we were invited and I didn't want to be a party-pooper. I even had to talk Tayshaun into going.

It wasn't very cold be we did get rained on but barely. The zoo seemed so small in the dark. And of course, not all areas were opened in the wintertime. Everyone admired the tigers because they seemed to be the only zoo animals willing to display themselves in the dark...or was it the frigid weather.

We burned out tongues in the re-fillable hot cocoa. But it was just the thing to warm up our hands. The lights were nice to look at. And afterwards, we drove into town and admired the city and Temple xmas lights.

Before we left the zoo, we found a short line to visit Santa Claus. Tayshaun wasn't shy to tell him EVERYTHING he wanted this year. Unfortunately, I think this will be the last year that he believes Santa exists. He was very inquisitive and he's had rumor that Santa isn't real. He didn't want to visit Santa anywhere else. No visits to the mall for Tayshaun this year. This boy is going to be a teenager before I know it. :-(

Mom, Are You Asleep?

Last week, I'm not sure why, but Tayshaun had a few sleepless nights. Whenever I hear him talking or crying to his sleeping-self, I wake him and put him in my bed. But he's just so hard to sleep with that I try to avoid it. I can guarantee you that it's not fun to wake up in the middle of the night from a fist or wrist falling on your sleeping face or from a heel pushed into your waist.

So this week, I heard him stirring in his bed and I made myself ignore his mumbling and fall back to sleep. Later, I woke up from a sensation that someone was watching me sleep. Well, I woke up to Tayshaun standing right beside my bed. He tells me, "Mom, I want a Karate sandwich." I don't know how many times I've just giggled at things that come out of Tayshaun's mouth. I asked him what a Karate sandwich was. He got a little frustrated and just repeated his request. So I asked him if he was hungry. And he told me no. So I walked him back to his bed - which he did willingly.

A few nights later, the same routine. I woke up to him standing beside my bed. He told me, "Mom, guess what... I made it to the next level." I asked him, "what next level?" He told me, "In WII." So I praised him and walked him back to his bed.

So weird. He talks in his sleep alot. If I weren't half asleep myself, I'd jot down what he says. But instead, I just laugh and fall back to sleep.

The Simpsons

We visited Blockbuster this weekend and was not very excited to see their price hike. I ended up buying DVDs instead of renting any for about the same cost.

Anywayz, so we're driving home from school yesterday and Tayshaun tells me he wants to play the dare game. I wasn't quite sure what this was leading to but I was intrigued. So I asked him what the dare game was. He tells me, "remember in the Simpsons movie when Homer dares Bart to ride his skateboard NAKED?" Ok, I half-watched the Simpsons while I half-surfed the internet so I was a quarter-listening to the television. I tell him, "Yea, ok, then I dare you to ride your skateboard NAKED!" He replies, "No, then everyone will see my bountiful penis!" I about slam on my brakes but bust out laughing instead. I asked, "what did you say?" And he repeated himself. I said, "first of all, do you even know what bountiful is? and where did you hear that at?" He reminds me of when Bart crashes and flies off his skateboard and slams into a McDonald's window which is right in front of a table where his neighbor is sitting and is about to bless his bountiful....SPLAT!....penis?! Because Bart's naked cartoon body is slammed up against the window. Fortunately, the neighbor was holding up his french fries to bless it, which in turn, covered Bart's bountiful-ness on the big screen.

So that got Tayshaun asking my opinion about his own bountifulness. What?! Geez! Then he tells me, "I can't ride my skateboard naked, anyways, 'cause all the girls will want to see my doodle."

I'm not sure if buying the Simpson movie was a good idea.

Martha Do-It cooked a Scrumptous Turkey

Mom, you outdid yourself this time. The turkey was EXTRA juicy; the stuffing was fabulous; and the desseret....well two out of three ain't bad.

I still haven't gotten on the scale...I know my sweats are tight...and that isn't a good sign.

Thanks Shalyse for the YUMMY yams; Madison/Bryton for the delicious Mac 'n Cheese; Tisha/JazLynn for the wine and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies (i want those for xmas too!!!!); Grandpa for the pumpkin pie/cream; and of course, Mom, for the fabulous turkey/stuffing.

Tayshaun was the only one who didn't stuff himself. He devoted himself to the wii game we rented.

Mom, your pumpkin cheesecake was edible (- the crust). Thanks for having Thanksgiving with us FAM!!!!!

After all the doggies were gone, Fergie came out to see what she was missing.

And Tayshaun was back on the Wii.

The Perfect Storm

On Tuesday, I went into a meeting a little late and one of the attorneys were talking about whether the Company was going to post "it" on the Message Board. He looked pretty concerned while he was trying to contact someone on the other side of the phone line. I tried to eavesdrop in his phone conversation to find out what the "it" was about but then the meeting got underway, so I couldn't pay attention. I didn't ask anyone what the "it" was because, afterall, I was late to the "party".

After the meeting, I opened my email and immediately saw a "Warning". I opened it and scanned the announcement about the upcoming Blizzard in Salt Lake City. At first I thought it was a joke but then realized everyone was talking about The Blizzard. Advisories were announced to stock up on dry foods, candles, and flashlights.

Later in the day, I started to feel a little bit of a panic attack. I've never had one before so I'm not even sure that's what it was. But when my mind started to wander about the possibilities if the area were, in fact, housebound due to blizzardy weather. So I began to text my family to see if they wanted to have a sleepover; to see if they were preparing; to see if they were taking this weather advisory as serious as everyone else seemed to be.

Turns out I couldn't talk anyone into sleeping over except Mom. Thanks, mommie!!!!

Shortly, employees were emailed and advised to leave the workplace by 2:00pm to avoid the blizzard driving conditions. So I left. On my way to pick up Tayshaun from school, I noticed the blue skies as I drove west. I kinda laughed to myself and thought....Really?

Well I went to the grocery store, anyways, like everyone else and picked up some food....mainly because I didn't want to have to face it the day before Thanksgiving. But I did have my reservations about buying refrigerated/frozen groceries since we supposedly could be without power during this Blizzard. But I bought it anyways...along with my slumber party snacks.

We kept watching the weather but it just didn't Blizzard. So we had our slumber party and enjoyed the nice sunny weather, the day before Thanksgiving. And I got an extra day out of the deal....I had made arrangements to stay home to avoid the transit bad weather conditions.

This snowfall was from the weekend after Thanksgiving. It didn't let up all day. By later in the afternoon and even though it was still snowing, I decided to shovel, regardless.

It's three hours later and we're dried off and bundled in blankets. And the snow is still falling. Not looking forward to tomorrow's drive to Tayshaun's school.

My poor gazebo didn't make the weight of the snowfall. Bummer :-(

It Doesn't Matter

I rarely watch television. So I'm mostly out of the loop when people talk about actors unless they're on the big screen. It's very similar for me with the world/local news. I hear snippets of events and pay attention to only those that are of interest to me.

In the past several months, I've heard about the concern for teenager suicide in the gay community. And in the past few years, I heard about reports of gay children being bullied in the school system. I've listened but haven't got into the detail much…not because the subject is about gay/lesbian but because I know that society can be cruel. Sometimes ignorance is bliss for coping.

However, last night I was online shopping and decided to put on the telly for some background noise (Tayshaun was asleep) so I switched on my Oprah recordings.

Can I just saw I'm in love with Ricky Martin? So yummy! The look, the personality, the charisma. Then I listened to Marie Osmond talk about her son's suicide. And I later watched the Portia DeGeneress special about her new book on her eating disorder. Eventually it occurred to me that Oprah was/is focusing on the gay community in her current weeks broadcasts.

In both Ricky and Portia's specials, they talked bout wanting/needing acceptance from their parents. So this got me thinking about my ignorance and my inadequate communication skills I have with my girls, sometimes.

Six years ago when Tisha came out, obviously, "I heard" about how she was feeling but I never heard it from her. Back in the day, Madison was the eyes and ears that kept me informed about certain things. So I learned that Tisha was experimenting with religion. When that seemed to fizzle out in her life, the "secret" came out. The funny thing is….I knew about "the secret" before TIsha did. In fact, I'd had suspicion of "that secret" since she was about 4 years old. I remember talking to my mom about it back then. So before Tisha came out, I kept her secret to myself because she wasn't ready to accept just yet. In my heart, I felt that she was struggling with her identity and struggling for acceptance. I'm glad to say that I think she has finally found both

Anyways back to when Tisha came out.....eventually the cat was let out of the bag. And Madison, who apparently thought she was sly, started to ask me questions about Tisha..."So Mom, how do you feel about Tisha coming out?" As Madison asked me questions, my innerself started to wonder, again, if Madison was also keeping "a secret". You see I had my suspicions when Madison was about 10 years old but then she threw a wrench in the works and she almost tricked me. Because when she entered junior high, I began to see changes in her appearance and in her wardrobe. So then I was confused.

So when Madison was asking me questions about how I felt about Tisha's honesty, I told her how I felt. "I love Tisha and will always love her. I don't care either way. My concern is she is going to have a struggle because life is going to be more difficult for her. Society can be cruel." Madison seemed to accept my comment but responded, prompty, "I could never do that. I could never be that way." That conversation made me feel like she was trying to convince me of something. So again, I had a talk with my mom but this time about Madison.

Not long afterwards, I found myself at my first Gay Pride Parade. And as I'm walking behind Madison and towards the parade line, I noticed Madison's new tattoo. I'm like…"Madz, when the hell did you get a tattoo?" It was VERY obvious Madison didn't want me to see this tattoo but I had already noticed the rainbow. And I have to admit, I was a little bit shocked that it was permanently placed on her neck. Before I had time to comment much though, she told me that she was just supporting Tisha.

I'm not sure Madison when you saw STUPID written on my forehead but did you really think you were convincing? You knucklehead.

So later, I asked Shalyse because obviously I'd lost communication, somewhere. And basically Shalyse's response was "don't ask me, ask her"……but I thought I had asked Madison and I obviously didn't get an honest answer. Or maybe I didn't ask the right questions. I don't know???

I obviously fail to communicate and/or listen when the topic is stressful or emotional. I guess my girls take after me a little, in that way. I know that "the secrets" are now out in the open but I thought it might be appropriate to leave a message on my blog anyway….…

The message is….."it just really doesn't matter". Maybe I didn't need to say anymore than that back then when Madison asked me how I felt about Tisha coming out. "I love all of you girls no matter what." All I want for my family is for all to be healthy and happy….if it were only a perfect world.

So girls, you may not have ever known this, but I'm just saying….I've suspected through most of your lives - and I've always loved you regardless - even as I was watching "the secrets" making themselves known to you. :-)

The Office

Recently, I decided to move my guest room to downstairs because we've using the office more than the guest room, recently. I decided to convert the office to an office/dressing room/library. Since Tayshaun's getting older, he likes to try out website he hears about from the television. And he likes UTube for dance moves. So I've been slowly moving things upstairs.

The guest room has been completely moved but the office is helter skelter. My book shelf needs to be secured before I can start loading it up again, because it's top heavy. So I have files, books, software, baskets, files, etc, etc all over the office space. While Tayshaun's been ill, I've been working from home. That's been a joke. I've had to run upstairs for supplies and downstairs for the PC. And while I've been on the computer, of course, Tayshaun HAS to use the computer. So throughout the day, I get "Mom, are you done yet? Can I get on CartoonNetwork yet?" again, and again, and again.

As I was working, I also noticed that many of my art supplies, colored pencils, etc etc had been test driven by Tayshaun and probably his buddies when they come down to play on the computer. So a little perturbed, I thought about how I was going to avoid the mess for sharing the PC between Me and Te. An idea popped into my head that sounded kind of extravagant to me but then again, there are only two of us sharing this house. Could it be a fancy but good idea? His and her's offices? I've kept my office colorful because #1, I like the colors and #2, for some fun for Tayshaun and as I was thinking about my office/dressing room/library, I had been thinking about maturing it up a bit. Why, yes, I think I got it!

Since there's an unused computer in the upstairs closet just taking up space, and since it's obviously not a priority for Madison to have it, I think I'll give it to Tayshaun for HIS office. Then he can have all his own little game icons messing up his desktop and we can set up his own desk area with his art supplies that are currently in baggies and boxes under his bed and in his cubbies....right there at his fingertips in HIS own office.

So I called for Tayshaun to see what he thought about the idea and of course he was thrilled. I told him about my ideas and he was all for it. I told him it might take a week or two until I could get the other computer set up and purchase a desk for upstairs. We were happy with our decision and I went back to work.

A little later, he runs downstairs, "Mom, are you done yet? Can I get on CartoonNetwork, now?!" And I explained to him that I was still working. So he looked at me with this huge smile and says, "So when you getting out of MY office, Lady!"

Germs

Since Saturday morning, I've been playing nursemaid. Tayshaun woke up feeling poorly. I had 1,005 errands to run that day. And as usual, I ran my "list of things to do" by Tayshaun in the morning to prepare him for a day of things he wouldn't necessarily want to do. Shortly after that, he started to complain about a headache. I was sure he was trying to make excuses not to go with me. As we drove to my nail appointment, he fell asleep as soon as he was in the car.

When we got there, however, he complained and asked if he could stay in the car to sleep while I did my nails. Since the front of the salon is floor to ceiling windows and my nail tech's station is the closest to the window, I agreed. So I rolled down the window a bit and went in for my appointment. I checked on him several times because he didn't move but he remained fast asleep. I stirred him to chat with him but he just wouldn't budge - he wanted to nap. I knew he must be feeling poorly because it was just approaching noon and he shouldn't be so exhausted. So after my nails were done, I asked Tayshaun if he wanted something to eat. He declined. I asked if he wanted a pumpkin pie, chocolate chip milkshake. He declined. I asked if he wanted a pina colada slurpee. He declined.

So we were off to my next stop....the deli for meat to take to my baby shower. While in the store, Tayshaun told me he thought he needed to vomit. So I sidestepped to the medicine aisle and picked up ibruprophen, cough syrup, sinex, and vicks, instead. We headed home.

After medicating him, I tucked him into bed with a stack of books and the dvd player going. He looked pretty shitty but didn't want to go to the doctor yet. I explained that the doctor would probably just give him new medicines and he wouldn't need a shot. If any of you remember his last episode at the doctor in "Screaming Like a Girl at the Doctor's Office", he wasn't too happy about those four shots. But he didn't think he wanted to visit the doctor, just yet. So I kept him hydrated but couldn't force him to eat.

That night his temperature shot up to 102 but by morning it had dropped. He looked and felt a lot better and insisted that we should go skating at Hollywood Connections, as planned. I had an errand to run beforehand so I dropped him off with Shalyse for an hour but by the time I got back at 1pm, he looked as ill as he had the day before. By this time, Tish, Jaz, and Shalyse were ready to go skating/movies with us but he decided to cancel and asked if we could go next week. I knew he MUST be hating it if he didn't want to go. He was really looking forward to this.

So I stopped at the store for a new thermometer and to get him some art supplies before getting him back home and tucked in bed. His temperature was now 102.5. But by 3:00pm, his fever had dropped again and he was back to his old self again.

By 4:00pm, he was begging to go skating. I didn't think he'd make it for long but I agreed to go because we were both stir crazy. He was very excited to skate and I think he put his icky-sickie feeling aside so he could have some fun. He was so excited he didn't even wait for me to get on my skates. After I got my balance again, I was out on the rink trying to duck and dodge to skate at a distance that was still cool for a 6 year old. Tayshaun skated for about 15 minutes before I realized that he was taking breaks more than skating. He didn't think I'd notice but, of course, I was watching. Finally he just sat down on a chair and pushed his fist into his stomach. I asked him if he was ready to go but he wouldn't give in. With a miserable look on his face, he pushed himself from the chair and went back out on the rink. I followed him for one more go-around and he was back on the chair holding his stomach. We decided to leave but not before those french fries he was craving since 9am this morning. But before the fries could be bagged, he was softly crying in a booth. He forgot about the fries as soon as they were bagged. So I hurriedly got his food and drink and we rushed to the car to get him home. But by now, he was ready for the doctor.

So I drove to Intermountain Healthcare to see if he could just see a doctor. Tayshaun had begun crying when we got in the car and hadn't stopped even while we were in the waiting room. The receptionist sensed the urgency for a dr and we were seen shortly. After describing his symptoms, the receptionist guessed appendicitis but the dr ordered a strep test. Then the dr came in for a visit. Tayshaun was burning up but when the dr pushed on his abdomen, T took it like a champ - so obviously not appendicitis. I asked if it could be a hernia but the dr didn't see anything indicating. He looked in his throat and ears and said he saw no irritation and everything looked good. The strep test came back negative. So the dr sent us home with an anti-nausea prescription and chalked it up to mucus dripping down to the stomach.

Luckily Tayshaun found some relief from the nausea pills and had stopped crying. Later that evening, Tayshaun stopped complaining about his tummy but now found a new symptom....his ears. By 2am, he was crying again and ready to go back to the dr. i didn't understand it because the dr had said there appeared to be no irritation in the throat nor ears. And here it was just 8 hrs later. By morning, Tayshaun's temp was still 102.5 and he wouldn't stop crying so I called his regular pediatrician for an appt. But we couldn't been seen until 4:40pm that afternoon. Tayshaun couldn't wait until it was time to go to the dr and neither could i. Thank goodness for nurses....i could never be one. My patience was thin. Tayshaun was sure there was a problem in his ear. "It feels like something is scratching in my ear." When I'd called for an appt, the nurse did say that an ear infection could develop within 6 hours - which was just about how long it was after the dr visit when Tayshaun began to complain about it. Unfortunately, everyone and their brother were sick at Dr Owen's office. So we waited for an hour and a half before seeing her. Luckily Tayshaun dosed. When Dr Owens arrived, we FINALLY found someone could see immediately that Tayshaun had a HORRIBLE ear infection....with a blister on his eardrum. After I interpreted it to Tayshaun, his reply was "see, Mom, I told you my ear hurt." :-(

Poor kid! i don't think i'll be visiting an Instacare a.k.a. Intermountain Healthcare anytime soon. I'm not sure that his clear throat and ears were so clear, afterall. Now, Tayshaun saw a means to the end and was patient about taking ALL those meds because he knew that by the same time the next day he was going to be feeling better. Fortunately it didn't take that long and Tayshaun gathered a little energy by noon. Unfortunately for his nursemail, I was multi-tasking as computer programmer, cook, nurse, maid, and mom....BUT work came first (right after breakfast and a load of clothes).

Go to Conoco...it doesn't matter if gasoline is a few cents more

So as usual, I was running on fumes. On my way home from work, I had every intention of stopping at a gas station before getting on the freeway to pick up Tayshaun.

But on my walk to my parking structure, I noticed that Shalyse and Madison had called me....within 5 minutes of each other. And being that I turn off my phone volume at work, I didn't notice the calls until the end of the day. Since I rarely get phone calls from the girls, I figured this call had to be of some importance, otherwise, I would have gotten my usual, 10-words or less, text. So as I walked to my parking area, I called and Shalyse answered her phone and explained to me that, at her regularly scheduled appointment, with her kidney specialist, she learned that her doctor had evaluated, from her regularly scheduled tests, that her kidneys were no longer functioning at a healthy level. He then, nonchalantly (i might add), suggested that she gear up for another kidney transplant in the next three months.

Well, I'm leaving this topic for another posting. But needless to say, when I got off the phone, gasoline wasn't necessarily of upmost importance in my mind. In fact, I completely forgot about it, as it was much more important to find a frikkin' napkin or tissue to wipe away the tears from my eyes before I crashed into someone.

Well, after giving myself a long talking to and pacifying myself a bit, I remembered that I was actually driving. I checked my headlights to make sure they were on, that my seatbelt was on, and that's when I noticed my gaslight was still ON.....from yesterday. Dang it!

I happened to notice this irritating, but helpful, light on i-80 westbound, just after passing the i-215 ramp. So I'm on my way to Bangerter or the airport and neither have a close gasoline station. I checked the light again and convinced myself that I've seen it this low before. So I'm sure I'll make it to Elena's.

So the gasoline light is completely forgotten as my eyes began to tear up again and I call my mother. She, however, isn't able to reach her phone right now because she's either away from her desk or on another call. So I just cry to myself. As I approach 3100 South, I decide that Tayshaun nor Elena should see me upset so I compose myself, again.

Luckily when I get to Elena's, Keenan is watching Tayshaun and neither he nor Tayshaun barely look at me. With a cheerful and fake voice, I ask Tayshaun to get into the car and buckle up. Now my mind is back onto "things that need to get done"...what to feed Tayshaun? And then it dawns on me that I HAVE to find a gas station.

So I drive towards 3500 South where I have my pick of two gas stations, each across from each other. So as I drive up, I don't look down at my gas gauger because I REALLY don't want to know how far I've pushed the limit. Since Conoco is the first station and about 2 cents more a gallon than the Holiday station, I, of course, ignore that I'm almost out of gas and wait patiently at the right light. It's now about 5:45pm and LOTs of traffic is behind me waiting for the same red light to change. When all of a sudden, my car gets the shivers. F - U - C - *!!!!!! Yup, I run out of gas and can't drift because I'm at a complete stop with a car to my right, left, and behind me. So I put on my emergency lights and wait for the light to turn green...and then I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Hmmmm....I'm still waiting.


...and waiting. Oh did I mention that I told Tayshaun that I ran out of gas and now he's whimpering like we're going to be killed or something. It probably didn't help that I said, "hmmm, what the hell am I going to do now?"

so.......I'm still waiting. And there we go, the light turns green. And now I step out of my car and kind of look around like "can somebody help me, here?"

Needless to say, there's A LOT OF HONKING going on around me. Um, did I mention that I'm in frikkin' West Valley? The same place that when I do go into a convenience store, young men will let a door slam in a woman's or a child's face before he thinks about holding it open for anyone. Anywayzzzz, so finally a young woman and younger guy comes running up to my car and I explain that I've run out of gas if they could help me push the car across the intersection at the next green light. And they agree to. THANK YOU!

In the meantime, many vehicles are going around me and most of them were not able to make it through the green light before it turned red again. Oh, and did I mention how long the last red light took to turn green? I don't blame them for being furious for having to wait for the light again. 'Cause my stomach was growling too.

So Tayshaun is still whimpering in the back seat and says, "What are we going to do Mom?" I said, "Don't worry babe, we've got a couple of people who are going to help us.", and I'm looking to my right as I'm talking to him and that's when I noticed this BITCH in the vehicle to the right of me imitating me and throwing her arms around in an exaggerated motion like "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO" and she's got this frown on her face like she's about ready to cry and she's moving her mouth but I can't read her lips because she's probably jabbering in Spanish....but I got the jest of what she trying to do.

If there weren't so many cars behind me and if I hadn't already made them wait through the last red light, I was ready to walk over to her car and knock on her window to ask her if there was something she needed to say to me in English. But...Tayshaun had already heard me call her a Mother F***ing biatch and I didn't need him to witness me giving that lady a black eye. So I just dared her to look at me...but she wouldn't. Thank godness the light turned green and she sped off.

So me and the other two people pushed my car across the intersection fine but couldn't get it across to the east side of the street nor into a parking area because of the traffic. So we just pushed it to the curb so I could run across the street and get a can of gas to start the car again.

So I thanked my helpers and calmed down Tayshaun and we walked over to the gas station. At bout this time, I noticed Madison texting me if I've found out what her blood type is yet. AM I HOME YET? Um, that's a big fat, NO!!!!!!

Well, when I get in the station, I ask the attendant how much gasoline I'll need for the container and he asks if I want to borrow theirs instead of buying one. So he and another attendant go in the back and look, and look, and look, as the line behind me is backing up again at the cashier area. Did I mention that it's quitting time and everyone behind me has a case, or six-pack of beer and other items to purchase. And I'm not kidding. Well, the attendants make it back witha container and I'm hoping no one has ripped them off at the pumps while they've been trying to find it. Anyways, so they're both struggling to take off the nozzle so I can fill it with gasoline. And the line behind is getting longer. Finally one of the attendants asked the other if he'll help the customers at the other register.

So I'm thinkg if they're having this much trouble opening the damn thing, then I certainly won't be able to close it so I tell them that I'll just purchase the one I had brought up to the cash register. Well I thought I better be safe than sorry (and the people were already used to waiting in line behind me) so I tried to take the cap off the one I was purchasing and with my long fingernails, I couldn't. So I asked for some assistance. Well, the attendant couldn't take it off either. So I suggested that he cut off the plastic thingy attached to the cap and handle. After he did that, the gas bottle was ready to be filled.

So I got my damn 2 gallons of gas and walked across the street. Did I mention that I have EXTRA long fingernails that were supposed to be done last week. In fact, my middle fingernail has NO acryllic at all. Nevertheless, I put that frikkin nozzle in my gas tank, and I'll be damned if there was more gas spilling on the street than going in my tank. So I take the frikkin thingy out and squeeze down where it says "secure the nozzle" and I push where it say "push" and I pull down where it says "pull down" and try it again. Well, the damn thing is still having spillage all over the place including my hand, wrist, and acryllic-less fingernail. And then I realize that I'm in West Valley and practically in the middle of the street so I figure that I have enough drips of gasoline to make it across the street to the station. I'm hoping that I won't blow up my car when I turn the ignition on with the spillage down the side of my car and roadside.

I get in and turn the ignition and my car kinda jiggles and starts, really weakly. So I look behind me and there's all that 6 o'clock traffic coming towards me....so I wait. Well, by the time the traffic clears, I softly put my foot on the gas pedal and my car kinda farts and shuts down. F-U-C-*~!

So I get back out. Now it's slightly dark. Did I mention I'm in West Valley where men don't open the doors for women/children and Mexican ladies try to belittle a fellow-driver whose run out of gas. God I hope that woman blows a tire....in the winter....in a deserted area.

Anyways, I finally get the frikkin' bottle car secured so that it drips instead of pours on the pavement and it pours instead of drips in my gas tank.

And FINALLY I drive across the street to the gas station.

Oh, shoot! I forgot to post what I was thankful today.

My Life with Tayshaun....recording and live

A Deal with the Bullies and BeyBlades

So on our drive home from work today, Tayshaun and I had an interesting conversation. It was so humorous, I had to record it and transpose it to blog:

Tayshaun: well Mom, the big bullies are off track again and back at daycare.

Me: oh yeah. have they been bullying you?

Tayshaun: no, but they bully everyone else - except that one black dude and a white guy.

Me: why aren't they bullying you?

Tayshaun: because i just let them butt me

Me: what do you mean they butt you?

Tayshaun: I let them get in front of me in line.

Me: do you just tell them that they can get in front of you?

Tayshaun: no, they just ask and i let them in. you gotta be nice to them or they'll bully you.

Me: well if they start bothering you, then you're going to have to let me know so i can go talk to the teachers.

Tayshaun: well Mom, i could just take care of it myself. i know how to make the bullying go away.

Me: you do? how?

Tayshaun: you're going to have to let me make a deal with them and i'm going to have to take my Blade Blades to daycare.

Me: you're going to just give them your Blade Blades in exchange for them to stop bullying the kids? No, that's not going to work - they'll just keep asking for more toys.

Tayshaun: No, Mom, i'm not going to give them my Blade Blades. i'm going to make a deal with them.

Me: what kind of deal?

Tayshaun: i gotta challenge them with the Blade Blade and tell them that when i win then they're going to have to stop bullying all the kids, forever.

Me: how do you know that they'll take the deal?

Tayshaun: oh, they'll take that deal 'cause they think i'm a loser. but guess what, i'm going to prove to them. they're just phony boys and they're not gonna beat me. i'll show them.

Me: hmmmm

Tayshaun: so what do you think, Mom? can i take my Blade Blades to daycare? it's up to you. this is really important. if you won't let me battle them, then i'm gonna have to take it to the teacher. but i'd rather take care of this myself.

Me: well if you're not going to give away your toys and you're just battling, then i guess it's ok- but take just one toy with you.

Tayshaun: Yes!

Me: so i guess you'll probably want to take your green one because it's stronger.

Tayshaun: that's not a Blade Blade, Mom -- that's a Battle Striker.

Me: babe, i don't know if you've thought about this --- but--- what happens if you don't win the battle?

Tayshaun: then i'm dead meat. But Mom, if i buy a Blade Blade online then i'll be sure to win. But if I don't buy one online, I might lose the battle.....and then i'll lose everything.

Me: how you gonna lose everything?

Tayshaun: they'll get to keep bullying everyone. And then the kids won't like me anymore. So what do you chose, Mom? My life being dead or getting me a Blade Blade online?

Me: how is your life gonna be dead?

Tayshaun: 'cause i might lose and then i'll have no friends. Well, what do you chose --- my life and no friends or Blade Blades online?

Me: even if i buy them online, you can't battle tomorrow. it will take a week or so to get them.

Tayshaun: nah uh, they give it to you instantly.

Me: you won't get it instantly?

Tayshaun: they'll just give it to me tomorrow.

Me: sorry, babe, it doesn't work that way. let's just think about purchasing some Blade Blades online, another time.

Tayshaun: i think i should just take my Battle Striker. they'll never expect my Striker to beat them. (Pause for a while) ---but then they'll probably think i'm cheating.

Me: Are you?

Tayshaun: Yea, the Strikers aren't really supposed to challenge the Blade Blades. That's why I really gotta buy some online. I'm gonna struggle tomorrow because the online Blade Blade always win. So what do you chose --- me getting some online or me getting beat to death....Mom. (Pause for a while) ---I can't hear you?

Me: i'll have to think about it, babe.

Tayshaun: well then....will you train for battle with me, tonight so i can be ready for tomorrow's battle?

Me: yea, Tayshaun - i'll train with you.

So i went home to look up Blade Blades online and realized that they're actually called BeyBlades - and he does already have some. I don't know the name of the toys I buy this kid - i just fork out the money.

And here's a smaller version of the whole battle arena.:

Here's the Battle Strikers that I thought he was going to try to battle with...looks pretty similar wouldn't you say?

Well, that's ending another day of my life with Tayshaun.

TAYSHAUN..yes, a little late birthday memories

It's already October and i still haven't posted birthday memories about Tayshaun.

With the girls, I have YEARS of memories to post about. Tayshaun's only turned 6 so we're still in the process of making memories. But I'm going to take it back a little to post some of my feelings about the beginnings of this BOY.

My pregnancy was sooooooo much different that the others. I knowI say that about all my pregnancies but this time WAS VERY different. There's something to be said about how differently your body reacts in pregnancy by the chromosome make up developing inside of you. My body's negative reaction to pregnancy was one of the many clues that Tayshaun's father and I didn't belong together. The girls, of course, had a different father than Tayshaun's. I never enjoyed being pregnancy but carrying Tayshaun was a hardship. I gained my usual 1,000 lbs but the differences were 1) high blood pressure 2) insomnia 3) sleeping on my right side 4) soooo uncomfortable 5) back pains. Obviously, I wasn't happy while I was pregnant.

When I viewed the ultrasound for the first time, the sex of my child was unveiled to me, on the solo tip. The ultrasound was a scheduled appointment and for the first time in his life, Tayshaun's father owned a vehicle but he still wasn't able to make the appointment on time. This was one, of many, incidents where he would not come through for me at a very memorable and important event.

Nevertheless, the technician divulged that i was carrying a son, although, it was very obvious that i had viewed the fetus' penis. From day one, Tayshaun was making sure to display that he had a penis. This boy is absolutely proud of that appendage and would walk around like Adam and Eve if he could. The boy is psycho. I had mixed emotions about the fact that I had just viewed a penis on my unborn child's ultrasound. When Tayshaun's father arrived and viewed our son, I was excited to witness his reaction, I had expected some emotion, thrill, excitement…anything that resemble the emotion that I felt when I viewed my son for the first time. But I didn't feel a bond when I watched and listened to Tayshaun's father's reaction. Unlike my daughter's father, who after assisting and watching the birth of our first born, wept with joy and happiness. I shared in his emotion and thrill of parenthood.

Tayshaun was premature and incubated immediately.When the girls were newborns, they stayed in my room until the required, minimum 12 hour stay was over. I didn't even get to hold Tayshaun for the first day. Then because he was hooked up to intravenous tubes, feeding tubes, heart monitors, etc, it was difficult to really cuddle that little newborn. Tayshaun grew slowly and was required to re-gain back to his birth weight before he could be released from the hospital. After the first few days, I decided to nurse him. He didn't respond very well. And he tired quickly. Since there's no way to measure the amount of milk that babies consume from nursing, I was always nervous that he wasn't getting enough. I couldn't relax through the process. I never seemed to be as full of milk as when I was nursing the girls.

I remember when Tayshaun was finally released, I brought him home, alone. I did the same with Shalyse. And both times were emotional. When you're pregnant and/or post-natal, the mother's emotions are up and downt. And I wasn't an exception to the rule by any means. It was nice to be home but Tayshaun was (IS) difficult. I felt like a brand new mother again. As with Shalyse, the first night was sleepless. There were the every 2-hr nursing sessions and with those sessions lasting about 45 minutes, there wasn't much time for sleep. Fortunately I didn't try to feed Tayshaun a bottle of water with the lid still fastened as I had Shalyse -- so I don't remember any frustrating crying (that night). After a couple of weeks, I surrendered nursing and started giving Tayshaun a bottle.

Tayshaun's first Pediatrician visit was the "snipper one". Neither my stomach nor my nerves would allow me the courage to accompany Tayshaun during the procedure. Thank god for my good friend, who was fascinated by the idea of witnessing a non-ritualistic circumcision. I gave her plenty of instruction to comfort Tayshaun but that was all I could do for him in that experience.

Tayshaun never seemed to sleep through the night but then neither did Shalyse. When Tayshaun turned about 3 months old, I noticed that he had a huge lump on the left side of the crown of his head so at his next Pediatrician visit, I asked about it. Since it had been over 15 years since I'd had a newborn, the rules had changed a bit. To avoid SIDs, we used to be instructed to ALWAYS lay your baby on his/her tummy. Now, the experts have changed their minds and we shouldn't lay babies on their tummies. Since Tayshaun was such a fretful sleeper, I laid him in the position he slept best and that was on his left side…..which apparently caused his soft skull to flatten and created a slight bulge at the crown. Obviously the Pediatrician suggested I alternate his sleep positions, which I did--very frequently afterwards, to try to even out his lumpy skull Tayshaun still has a bit off a bulge on the leftside of his skull. Sorry, Kid!

Tayshaun's hair was absolutely adorable. He had some short chunks here, and long chunks there, and bald spots here and there. His father didn't want him to have a hair cut until he was 5 years old. But I had just had a son not a daughter so I couldn't agree to his "spiritual" or "fashionable" -ness of having corn rows for the first five years of his life. His first haircut was bittersweet. Some of the curls were gone but the bald spots and long, chunks were less apparent after the cut. Something about that first hair cut just started the domino affect of losing his baby-ness.

Tayshaun began dancing early. All babies have a bounce when they hear music but Tayshaun really loves to dance. He was exposed daily to a variety of music with his sister nannying him. To this day, Tayshaun still has a versatile ear for music. And I think he was born to dance. I know that he's going to be a GREAT dancer whether he likes it or not. It comes so naturally. He can watch dance moves and pick them up pretty effortlessly. It is something that I think should be pursued. So it's on the checklist of "things to do".

Tayshaun has an awful habit of grinding his teeth while he's sleeping. He started at a young age and still has the habit. If the habit doesn't go away by itself when some of his primary and permanent teeth come in, the dentist is going to fit him for a mouth guard that he'll need to wear while sleeping.

Tayshaun hates to shop, He hated it when he was a baby - he was terrible at the mall. Nothing's changed. He still hates shopping. And someday I will be a shopper again.

This boy is growingup tobe a charmer, mischievous, athletic, musical, hyper character. I can't wait to see what's in his future. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.