In 2004, I was laid off from an employer that I'd taken for granted that I'd retire from. So watching "Up In the Air" brought back memories as I watched employees (actors) get axed from their jobs. The film maker used some actual employees who'd recently been laid off to adlib their reactions or the reactions they wished they had during the actual event. The reactions were those of confusion, rage, despair, incomprehension, sense of injustice, etc. All reactions were pretty much the same that I'd had. The most apparent, however, was…a professional irrelevance.
From this experience, I, coincidentally, took the advice that George Clooney gave as he laid off employees. In the film, Clooney played an employee who's job was to fire/lay off employees for companies' supervisors who did not have the stomach to do it themselves. The advice that Clooney gave was that this lay off could be a beginning not an ending. He further advised employees that they now had the opportunity to do something they really wanted to do.
After I was laid off and Tayshaun was born, I had decided that was exactly what I was going to do….something that I really wanted to do…. to stay home with my new baby. I didn't have a choice in the matters concerning downsizing, selling my home, minimalizing, reprioritizing, recovering financially, obtaining employment, etc, etc. so why not avoid the inevitable for a year? So I made the choice to spend time with my son and build a year's worth of scrapbooks, photos, and memories. I had the same opportunity with my daughters so I knew how fortunate it would be to do the same with Tayshaun.
Yes, recovery was definitely difficult. It was, at the least, humbling. But it also provided an opportunity for changes that in the long run improved my life. Going through that experience gave me new perspective and priorities. It showed me that material things could be substituted, careers could be rebuilt, savings could be replenished BUT sharing wonderful memories and relationships could not be replaced.
A year later, when I became employed with the University of Utah, I was first pessimistic. The culture was different, the environment more laid back, and the wage scale modest. However, the technical and functional users--more confident, new features explored-- in more depth, the pace--heightened, etc, etc. From that experience, I gained a confidence and knowledge that I might not otherwise have had if I'd never engaged in the career move. When I returned to Questar, I became more aware of opportunities that I hadn't noticed or pursued before.
In the film, Clooney also was a motivational speaker. He lectured a different concept and advised you to become unencumbered. He suggested you keep only the important things and people in your life scaled down to fit into one backpack. Although Clooney lived a pampered lifestyle traveling state to state as an elite member of every travel loyalty program in existence and lived mostly in high-end hotels, he didn't own much and leased a bachelor pad apartment. He didn't have a close relationship with his family members. And he eventually became aware that his backpack was pretty empty. He had nothing real to hold onto. Minimalism could survive but Life was better with company.
For the most part, my most memorable recollections have been those with family and close friends having vacations, parties, celebrations, etc, etc. After having surgery in 2006, I came to realize that when I die or if I ever became incapacitated, I wanted to have only those that love me around me. I am very fortunate to have many family members and close friends in my life and I love you all.
Last week, I went out of town on business for only two days. But the last morning, I woke and couldn't stop thinking about Tayshaun. I was wondering what he might have eaten that morning or if he was thinking about me. I didn't really expect that he'd be too fazed about my absence since I'd left just the morning before. But when I got home that night, Tayshaun was asleep and Mom mentioned that he'd had a weepy, whiny, and emotional afternoon. She said he'd carried a picture of the both of us around the whole evening and kept telling her that he missed me. She said he talked about the day we took the picture and how much fun we'd had. The picture was one of us at the circus. I felt so much warmth from his sadness. How are the both of us going to cope this fall when I'm gone for my cruise? He was so extra sweet the next day and shared with me his sadness while I was gone and how he'd missed me. I love that little boy!
One interesting part of the film was an honest conversation about men & women and life & expectations. It was interesting to hear the different generational views on career, relationship, and lifespan path between the twenty something year old grad student as opposed to the forty something year old career woman. Funny how your views and plans change with each year. I know others have said the same, but I truly wish I knew then what I know now. But on the other hand, you just don't learn until you experience. So….
At the end, the film had a twist of events that I wasn't expecting. It was definitely a good flick.
It really made you think about…..What's in your backpack? I hope to keep mine packed but not overburdened, through my lifetime.
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