My Earliest Memories of Mom...

I remember watching Mom get into the passenger seat of our Volkwagen bus with a bundled baby Dad said was my sister.  I stood behind the drivers seat watching her.  I was three.

When I was about four, I remember Mom telling me my hair would grow back, soon.  Mom was in cosmetology school then and decided to practice a pixie cut on me.  I remember seeing myself in a mirror with hair as short as Dad's and wondering how the hair on the floor was going to get back on my head.

My first day of kindergarten I was sooooo hurt when Mom abandoned me.  She just left me there.  My heart was pounding so hard I'm sure she must have heard it.  Did she think I knew all those strangers that were looking at me?  She didn't even come back when I cried.

Mom and I walked into a stranger's home.  I saw the piano.  It was different than the pianos at school.  It was large and taller.  It was painted gray instead of a wood stain.  I plucked a yellowish, cracked key.  It sounded different.  The stranger told my Mom the piano would need to be tuned.  I don't think either of us knew then...but this was the first time that my Mom was telling one of her children...you can do whatever you set your mind to do.  You can be a pianist, Yvette.  And I will be there to help you.  My Mom was 22.  I was five.

Me and Lisa watched and felt the baby moving in Mom's tummy.  Soon after, Mom brought home a baby boy, my brother.  I'm going to have lots of babies when I grow up.

I have the rudest Mother ever. Did she really think I'd be comfortable at the circus with this stupid thing on?  This bra pinches. It's tight.  I can't breath.   W H Y!!!!   Does she have to be so rude!?

In fourth grade, I saw a flute and told Mom about it.  Mom drives us to a music store in Sugarhouse.  I came home with a flute in a green case.

My best friend just got a new Schwinn ten-speed.  Mom takes me to her favorite store, Kmart.  I'm sure she thinks she'll find a sale.  She does.  I go home with a Men's white ten-speed.  I have to step on a ladder to get on it...but I have a ten-speed.  I love it!  I wish we didn't have to buy everything at Kmart.  When I grow up, I'll NEVER shop at Kmart.

Mom is very sad.  She says she's bleeding. She didn't come home with a baby.

Mom is learning sign language.

In fifth grade, I'm still playing the flute but the saxaphone sounds so much different than the flute.  Mom drives us to the music store in Sugarhouse again.  It's fun playing the saxaphone too but it's so heavy to carry back and forth to school.  Mom and I drive back to the music store after that school year to return the saxaphone and pick up some Carole King piano sheet music.

Mom has become a stranger this year.  She's always away.  I never thought I'd think this but I miss St. Patrick's.  I miss Holy Communion.  I miss stained glass windows.  How can she be so stupid?  Doesn't she know that there's no such thing as Paradise?  Why would God only select 300,000 people out of be-zillions?  She really thinks that this is THE TRUTH!  We debate constantly.  I ask her...what about this?  What about that?  Mom is smart, why is she being so dumb?

Mom is becoming a seamstress.

I lost Mom in Jr High.  I became an athlete and I found Dad.  My friends are important now too.

I'm still absorbed in my friends in High School.  Mom is still in the shadows.  She's great help with my essays but she's never really understood Algebra or Geometry.  I'm a grown up anyways.  My Mom's in her own World with Jehovah, her congregation, and her God Damn Assemblies she forces us to go to.

I'm really glad Mom decided to have another baby.  Lena is so darling.  But she's a handful.  Is Mom up to this?  She seems so drained.

Well, guess I'm getting married.  There are no options.  Mom says get out or get married.

I'm somewhere in Texas.  I wake up in a strange bed.  Oh yea.  I'm on my way to Florida with Tom.  God, I miss my Mom.

My suitcase isn't packed.  Could this possibly be labor pains?  I hope so.  No I don't.  Mom isn't here yet.  I'm not due for two weeks.  I'm alone.

Will I ever stop crying?  These people in the airport will think we're nuts.  I missed Mom. What am I doing away from my family?!  My family isn't here with me in Florida, loving my new baby, Shalyse.  I'm in a foreign place...Okeechobee.  But I'm a grown up now.  I'll go home soon.  I know I won't be here long.  I'm 17.

Mom and I have talked every week on the phone since I moved here.  But it doesn't seem like I have REALLY been talking to her until I see her in person.  I feel like I'm home again.  I'm not alone anymore.  My Mom is with me again.  She's still in la-la land....talking about Paradise but I'm listening more.  I'm trying to understand her.  I'm trying to understand all religions.

I'm finally home in Utah.  Poor Lisa and Paul.  They go to school hiding out after Christmas, hoping none of their school friends ask them what they got for Christmas.  Lena has never had Christmas or Birthdays.  They will now.  I'm home now.  But Mom won't.

I love Mom.  She's the best Grandma ever.  I missed my family.  I'm safe; I'm secure; I'm really with my family again.



Mom, you're my best friend ever.  I guess I thought I lost you as I was becoming a teenager.  But I've come to realize that I didn't really lose you I just didn't recognize you for a while.  All People change. I started to become my own person. And then I became a parent myself.

As an adult, you've become my best friend ever.  You probably always were, I just didn't know it.  You are a very giving, nurturing, caring, and beautiful woman.  I find my emotional security in you.  Whenever I feel at my worst, I always think to call you.  And I always feel better afterwards.  I love you, Mom.

Friends can have different views on different issues.  What matters is that they continue to love and care about each other always.  I have never doubted that about you, Mom.

Happy Mother's Day!